Patterns
by CharmedAli
Summary: Teyla's dealing with Charin's death. One Shot! AN inside


Patterns

John awoke slowly with the sun streaming in the window, Teyla was already awake and standing changed in front of the mirror. She was in the process of braiding her hair, her fingers trailing through the dark brown silk that was her hair, creating the intricate pattern. He was entranced by the steady rhythm of her delicate fingers, you wouldn't think that anything about the strong woman standing in front of the mirror was delicate but the dance that her fingers were performing was captivating.

She sighed in frustration and went to pull the tie out of her now finished hair; John's right hand went to hers and stopped it. Their eyes made contact in the mirror that framed the image of John standing just off Teyla's left shoulder with his right hand trailing round her stomach and coming to rest at her left hip.

"It's perfect" he said, gently kissing inside her neck, he nuzzled that spot before trailing kissed up her neck to her jawbone before turning her so their lips met.

"You look beautiful" they kissed again and she moved into his embrace.

"It's OK to be upset" she stayed silent in his arms with her head buried in his chest.

She hadn't shown any signs of grief after Charin's death except the night after it happened, she'd spent the night in the gym sparring with her invisible demons to the point of exhaustion. She'd collapsed in the gym after hours of training using technique like he'd never seen before, John had carried her back to their room that night and she'd slept through till after 10, which, for Teyla was very late. Since then she'd been waking up with either a nightmare or just unable to sleep and she'd spend the rest of the night on the balcony unless John brought her back to bed.

She hadn't woken him up last night, he hoped she was all right and hadn't been up too long, they separated and he kissed her forehead

"I'll go get ready" he moved off into their bathroom to shower. He let the water wash over him to prepare him for what he knew lay ahead of them, he couldn't imagine how Teyla must be feeling, she'd never admit to anyone anything contrary to all right but he could always tell. He got out of the shower, dried off and changed, when he walked back into their room Teyla was gone. He found a note lying on the bed;

John,

I'll be back in time to go,

Please don't come looking for me,

Teyla

His heart ached for his wife, he knew she would need comfort and was torn between going to her and respecting her wishes. He'd give her some time.

Teyla stood on the balcony, looking out to the surrounding ocean and ultimately the main land where they'd soon be going. Part of her wanted to stay here forever and the other knew she had to be there, the tears were there, lurking under the façade but she swore to herself she would stay strong and wasn't going to stop now.

"Tey?" It was John, he couldn't be here, she knew she'd lose it if he was around "I'm sorry" he said to her turned form, she wouldn't look at him, she just continued to stare at the water "We have to go" he reached out and gently squeezed her shoulder before running his hand down to gently clasp her hand in his own. He softly tugged it and turned her to face him and saw a myriad of raw emotion in her eyes as she struggled to remain in control; hurt, anger, pain, fear, desperation

"Hey" he cupped her face with his hand "It's OK to cry, you don't have to be strong, in control leader all the time. She was practically your grandmother, she raised you, crying is a part of the grieving process." He kissed her and watched as she blinked furiously, still trying desperately to keep a reign on her quickly fading control. Their eyes locked and a single tear made its way down her cheek, this had a greater impact on John than a hundred would have had. He went to pull her into his embrace but she placed both hands on his chest and pushed him away before turning to grip at the rail of the balcony and stare out to the water, urgently trying to prevent more tears from falling

"I asked you not to come looking for me" Her voice was hard and cracked with emotion, she swiped at the tear on her cheek, furious at herself for letting someone so close to her as John see her like this. He turned her firmly by her left shoulder and pulled her in close, holding her tightly to his chest until she relaxed, letting the pent up emotion flow freely from her battered soul.

A/N: I haven't seen this episode but I had the beginning written about the hair and had to keep going so I just wrote about Charin's death. I don't know what happens so yeah this is just my random take on it and getting rid of one of the plot bunnies distracting me from my school work!

CharmedAli


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